Pro and cons about of technology in ours relationships.

After my research, I found the article from Alex Lickerman MD interesting. He is not totally opposed to technology, but he has some good insight about how technology can affect us. His article is for a general reader, and he is using a passive tone. Creditability of the author; he's a general internist, former director of primary care, and current assistant vice president for Student Health and Counseling Services at the University of Chicago.  He is author of The Undefeated Mind and "Happiness in the World" . Dr. Lickerman in his article “The Effect of Technology on Relationships” explains that technology has been wonderful for us. We are able to connect with the rest of the world with no rules, but it can cost us isolation. Dr. Lickerman mentions that technology keeps us addicted to the internet, and keeps us separated from the real world. We are substituting electronic relationships for physical ones.

Katherine M. Hertlein and Katrina Ancheta wrote the article “Advantages and Disadvantages of Technology in Relationships”. They are from the University of Nevada and cited many different sources which insure their credibility. Even though their article is an 11 page study with many reliable sources, I find it weak because the title leads you to believe that they are going to give some disadvantages of technology in relationships. They give some but I think their reasoning was not convincing because they talk about how technology allows people to cheat on their spouse. While technology might facilitate cheating, it does not cause cheating. Cheating would still happen without technology. Some advantages they claim are that we are connected with our spouse when we are in different places, and that communications are instantaneous.

In my research I found both these articles to have similarities about the advantages of technology. We can communicate with people in different countries and we do not have to worry about if we are working because texting or e-mail is a discrete form of communication.

The difference between my sources are that for people that use social media, Dr. Lickerman thinks it’s easier for them to confront others because they can send an e-mail, text, or post something vs. talking face to face. Confrontation face to face is a vital life skill that people need to develop. He also believes that messages transmitted by social media are poorly communicated compared to face to face conversations. This results in easily finding others receiving a message that we did not intend to communicate. On the other hand, Katherine M. Hertlein and Katrina Ancheta believe that maintaining communications throughout the day with significant others increase intimacy in the relationship between the two people.  This could be via text, Facebook, or twitter for example. They also promote this form of communication during times of emergency or stress for emotional soothing when face to face contact is not possible.  They maintain as well that these forms of communication promote healthy communication that would otherwise not take place in a face to face conversation. This is almost the exact opposite of Dr. Lickerman’s point.

I think that if these two points of view got together they would actually agree on the process of what’s happening regarding communications via technology and social media. What I think they would disagree on is if the benefits outweigh the negative consequences. I believe Dr. Lickerman would say that the negative consequence of not learning the essential skill of confrontation by always “hiding” behind a computer or phone will end up leaving an individual lacking that skill when it’s really needed in life; like a tough situation in work with a boss or co-worker. I believe Dr. Lickerman would agree with Katherine and Katrina regarding maintaining communications throughout the day with significant others; I bet Dr. Lickerman still texts his wife during the day, for example. I doubt that he depends or relies on that being the “main” form of communication in his relationships however.

In the end, I found the arguments in Advantages and Disadvantages of Technology in Relationships to be weak and impractical. They are taking the exceptions and making them the rule. For example, cheating, or the advantages of communications during emergencies. As explained before, technology isn’t the root cause of cheating and when was the last time you texted your loved ones in a natural disaster? Doesn’t happen too often, does it? I think Dr. Lickerman had a much more balanced approach of using technology to supplement relationships but not become a main form of communications in them. I 100% agree that people need to learn to deal with others face to face and not hide behind technology in difficult situations. 

Is the internet making us smarter?

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